Conclusion

Online dating has both negative and positive experiences. The most common issues associated with online dating include the negative stigma attached with it, and the misrepresentation of oneself in online dating profiles. While online dating is very different from traditional dating in many ways, both are similar in the sense of getting to know someone and the risks/fears associated with it. It is easier to deceive online, but does not stop people from being deceiving when dating traditionally. Online dating success is attributed more to the specific site that is used, but young adults in southeastern Michigan tend to use two or more sites to find "matches" or people they are interested in. Many young adults also use social networking sites, rather than online dating sites, to meet people. Both good and bad relationships have been a result of online dating experiences, just like traditional dating experiences.

Online dating should be looked at as a supplemental way to meet people in an ever-changing society. As people get busier with work, school, and families, it becomes harder to meet people in traditional ways. Online dating is not for everyone, but many have experienced success with it. Those who have experienced success have also experienced problems, which can also be said about traditional dating. As our culture and society continues to change, online dating will become more and more common and accepted, and will be utilized in more ways than we can imagine. 

This project was a very small snapshot of ideas and concepts associated with online dating. There is still much research to be done on online dating and the people who chose to utilize it. I had hoped to find many positive experiences of online dating in order to prove that it is an acceptable way to meet people, both romantically and for fun. My results, however, were more about different experiences, making it easier to draw the conclusion that online dating is not as different from traditional dating as some may think. Dating is a part (one of the most important parts) of human lives; there will be good and bad involved in the process of finding a mate for years to come, no matter what channel is used to find people.

Online dating has become so popular that many blogs have been created to talk about experiences with meeting people online. One blog I came across while researching for this project is mildredgoesfishing. If you have ever experienced online dating, you can definitely relate to some of the things she posts and experiences. Reading blogs on experiences is also a great way for online dating to make its way into a more socially acceptable light, because they put the bad (and the good) experiences out there, so those interested in trying online dating will know what to expect and what to look for. 

Misrepresentation in Online Dating

Misrepresentation in online dating is one of the biggest fears, and one of the biggest issues with online dating in general. In the survey I created and sent out, 32.4% of respondents indicated their biggest fear/hesitation of online dating was the fear the other person may be misrepresenting themselves. The internet allows people to present an "ideal self;" it allows people to showcase the best parts of them, to talk about only their good attributes, and to leave out anything undesirable. Physical characteristics seem to be the common problem when meeting someone online. "One common concern is whether people lie on their profiles online and without a verified picture, it is almost impossible to tell if someone really is who they say they are online. A few researchers trying to measure deceit conducted height and weight surveys in a university lab setting and then checked the numbers against subjects‟ online profiles. The data collected suggest that, on average, online profiles trim off about five pounds and add perhaps an inch in height." (Epstein, 2007; Miller, 2011) Online profiles also do not showcase small disabilities or rare physical characteristics, such as a limp or a speech impediment. Separate from deception of physical characteristics is relationship status and personality. People can easily pretend to be someone they are not, and online dating makes cheating easier than before.

It's safe to say that trust is one of the most important aspects of dating and serious relationships. In the survey I distributed, 58.8% of respondents said the people you meet on online dating sites are "moderately trustworthy." 26.5% responded that people on online dating sites are "slightly trustworthy." 11.8% responded with "very trustworthy" and one person even responded "extremely trustworthy." From this we can determine that in general and over a wide variety of experiences, people do tend to be who they say they are, with a small amount of deception involved as discussed in previous posts.

Many studies have been done on self-presentation and the internet, and it's important to look at self-presentation online in general. "People present identity differently based on context." (Marwick & boyd, 143) In different social situations, and different encounters online, people will present what is ideal about themselves based on the other person's needs/wants. Misrepresentation in online dating profiles is perhaps the largest problem with online dating, other than the stigma associated with online dating itself. The stigma, however, seems to stem from the large fear of misrepresentation in online dating. Just like dating in the real world, people are deceiving, however, it it much easier to be tricked on the internet. This does not take away success from online dating; it just causes skepticism, and in turn makes people weary of this extra opportunity in meeting new people.

Online Dating Survey Results: Online vs. Traditional Dating - preference?

38.2% of respondents indicated that they had no preference for either online dating or traditional dating, but 32.4% indicated they enjoy doing both. 20.6% of respondents indicated they enjoy traditional dating over online dating at only 8.8%.

When asked why they might enjoy one type of dating over another, some responded:

"I prefer traditional dating because you actualy interact with the person and get to know them better. Also this gives you the chance to see if the person you are dating is compatible with you or not."

"I would prefer online. I think you have more of an oppritunity to meet more people. And you dont have the embarressment of being shot down if it doesnt work out."

"I guess either way you aren't sure exactly who the person is you're talking with. However, with online dating you can't see exactly who you are talking with and you aren't face to face. Online you have time to make up lies in person it's a little harder to come up with lies on the spot without it being somewhat noticeable."

"I prefer the method that has worked for thousands of years: meeting someone and asking them on a date."

"When you talk to someone online, things can go really well because you have time to think about responses. So the conversations may be really great, but then in person it can be tough sometimes. Also, if you have high hopes for something and you meet a person face to face, if there is no spark, you feel pretty bad. Traditional dating gets rid of that issue."

These responses correlate with the responses to the question about online dating fears and hesitations. Fear and problems with misrepresentation seem to be discussed a lot, as well as rejection or awkward encounters with those you meet online. Similarly, you have those people who feel technology has taken away from natural human interaction and face-to-face time, which explains preference for traditional dating over meeting someone on the internet. It's important to note, however, that online dating is just an additional option to meeting someone. It is useful for those people who may not leave the house often; for those tired of the bar/club scene; for those who do not have time to meet people in a traditional sense. Online dating can be a catalyst for a relationship, and all your time does not need to be spent staring at a screen. Technology and society today has allowed people to have more choices and decisions than ever before, and to partake in online dating is just another choice and opportunity that people have. 


When asked if the dating relationships started online were better, worse, or about the same as dating relationships started in the "real world," 51.5% of respondents said they were "about the same." The second most popular answer was "slightly worse" with 18.2% selecting it. Interestingly enough, the third most popular response was "much better" with 9.1%.

Is online dating that much different from traditional dating? Results from this survey seem to suggest it is not. Of course, there are very obvious differences - meeting someone online versus someone at a bar or through a friend is just not the same. We can argue, however, that the interactions that take place between two people trying to get to know each other and not so different. The biggest difference, and also the biggest set back, is that online dating allows for more deception. It is easier for people to lie when they are not face-to-face, and when you do not know each other through mutual friends. The truth of the matter is, anyone can lie, whether or not you meet them online. The idea behind online dating is to find someone who is interested in you as you are interested in them, and to do this, you put your best foot forward. It's similar to going on a first date with someone you are extremely interested in. You want that person to want you - so you present the ideal you in the hopes to further the connection. It takes a long time to get to know someone and their intricacies. Whether you meet them online or in the "real world" similar interactions will take place.

Online Dating Survey Results: Personal Stories

I asked respondents to share some personal stories in order to get an overall sense of online dating experiences. Stories shared were both positive and negative, reinforcing that online dating, just like traditional dating, has both good and bad outcomes.

"Met up with a guy whose photos were not of his own. He has to be more than 20 years older than the photos posted. I don't mind older men, but I do mind dishonesty."

"Like I said good! You still get alot of unwanted responses to your profile, but not any more than the "cat calls" you get from the random guys you run into out and about."

"I met my ex on a dating website. I fell for him fast and hard. I thought he was the one. We lived an hour and a half away so we did the long distance relationship for 9 months then I moved to his town. We were together for 3 years. He was absolutely amazing. Although it didn't work out because we wanted different things out of life. Since then I've been back on a dating website."

"I have had both- one of the worst was the guy totally misrepresented himself- looks and all. He had pictures up but did not display his negative attributes (didnt smile with his mouth open- ended up having very few teeth). He also was not a gentleman and was fairly rude. I still made it a good time, and just chalked it up to an experience. It was bad but it did not stop me from going on more dates."

"I met my boyfriend online, we have been dating for about 6 months and couldnt be happier. We talked online for a few weeks, then one night i just decided it was time to meet him and i drove to his house and called him and told him to come outside. We talked for over an hour in my truck and ended the night with a kiss, and from that moment I knew i would fall head over heals for him, and i was right. I am the happiest I have ever been and I know I will marry this man."

"In 2006 I went on an online date with a guy who stated he had a child and enjoyed going to the movies and we had alot in common...online! When we met at a restaurant, it came out that he did have a daughter who was 4 who he hadn't seen in 3 years. He was accepting calls from his friends talking about getting together to play Xbox (and this was three separate calls and separate friends) and it became incredibly clear that this guy was an immature gamer with no parental ambitions what so ever. I am married now to a man that I did not meet online and do not anticipate ever having to date again but if, by some reason, I was forced back into the dating scene, I would probably not consider online dating. With my daughter, it is just unsafe and you do not truly know who you may be bringing into your life. When you are single, it is just you to worry about. When you are a parent, you are instantly looking for positive people to mesh well with your children. You are taking a gamble online. Not saying that you couldn't encounter the same issues with dating in person but it is much easier to misrepresent yourself and/or your intentions online."

"A girl "found" me on a social networking site. Messaged one another back and forth, Messages turned into text, texts into phone calls, phone calls into meeting and dating, dating turned into a relationship...All in all it was a desperate situation turned worse and was a bad experience. I would consider it again but would not jump into as quick as the latter."


These are only a few personal stories, most of which discuss heavily the problem of misrepresentation online, but still highlight positive experiences despite this issue. 

Online Dating Survey Results: Site Interaction, Relationships, and Interest

52.9% of respondents indicated they have interacted with at least two dating sites. Many indicated that they have only interacted with one at 26.5% and many said they have interacted with three at 14.7%. This question had limitations in that some people who may have participated in "online dating" did not actually use an online dating site. Some people consider online dating to be meeting a person of interest or significant other on the internet via social media sites like Myspace or Facebook. Some online daters have also used Craigslist.

Online dating "success" stories (or at least the ones that are advertised to us) are usually associated with the specific site that is being used. Some sites approach success using phrases geared more toward commitment, while others use phrases regarding situational aspects, like deciding to meet someone. "These differences demonstrate that individuals  who use different dating sites have varying definitions of success
and  that these users  highlight different aspects of the relationship process, possibly related to or determined by the status of their relationship." (Mascaro, Magee, Goggins, 2011) Online daters chose different dating sites for different reasons, and it would be interesting to examine why. 73.5% of respondents to my survey have tried two or more online dating sites, perhaps to seek a different result than interactions with the others.  Success for online daters depends on the site they use, and statistics for success and the way success is approached by different sites varies.

76.5% of respondents indicated that only "a few" of their dating relationships have started online, and 17.6% indicated that none of their dating relationships started online. Two people indicated that a moderate amount of their relationships started online. From this we can conclude that it is possible to start and maintain a relationship from meeting someone on the internet. Many personal stories (both successful and failed relationship stories) support this.

47.1% of respondents indicated that they were interested in casual dating when they started online dating, and 44.1% said they were looking for a committed relationship when starting. Most young adults start online dating because they are interested in casually dating someone or are looking for a committed relationship. Depending on the online dating site, however, interests can be different. This is particularly interesting when you look at niche dating sites described in the news story in a previous blog post. Analyzing statistics like this on different dating sites could be useful to ease the fears and negative stigma associated with online dating and misrepresentation.

Online Dating Survey Results: Opinions

When asked "how do you feel about online dating in general?" respondents had a variety of different answers.

Some postive responses included:

"In my opinion online dating and interaction is a different way to meet new
people you usally would not interact or come across with in your common and usual
settings. Also, it can less stressful than a blind date and can make a first
encounter after speaking for a duration of time online easier."

"As long as both participants are true to themselves and not representing
themselves to be someone that they are not, the experience could be wonderful.
It is easy to keep up a charade on the internet but eventually, true colors will
come out in person."

"I was very skeptical about it at first. I had met a few people offline and at
first it went well, but went down hill afterwards, as it can with any
relationship. But I found my current boyfriend offline and couldnt be happier."

"It's a new day in age, and if that's what's available to find love, nothing
should stop anyone from exploring every option."

"It has become increasingly popular with each passing year and is becoming the
new catalyst to many relationships. However, I feel as though online dating is
the continuation of our technology-obsessed generation and reduces social
interaction just like texting and IM."

"It's really cool. I met someone online who I dated for a few years and also have
made several lifetime friends."

"Great! That is how I met my husband!"

Some more negative responses included:

"Actually causes more stress than you would think, weeding out people and trying
to not feel like you're just at a people buffet."

"There is a lot of people who misrepresent themselves online. It takes a while to figure out how to pick up on ques on profiles to "weed out" the "crazy ones" and you will STILL end up with 'crazy ones'."

"It's not for everyone. I have had better results out in the real world rather than the online dating world."

"Still a level of discomfort, because even though it is widely acceptable in this day and age, it's still very taboo in my eyes."

"Weird, I feel like its more difficult to tell if the person is being honest."

"It's a waste of time way to many picky and fake people on there."

All of these responses give a good idea of the positive and negative stigmas associated with online dating. It is a way to meet new people who you may never have had the opportunity to meet, whether it's just friends or relationships. It gives people a new opportunity to explore and find love and happiness. It can introduce you to your husband, or it can introduce you to some "crazy people." Honesty and trust play a big role in the negative connotations with online dating, as well as stress of the large amount of people interacting with online dating sites.

Online Dating Survey Results: Fears and Experiences

In response to the question, "What's your biggest fear or hesitation about starting online dating?" the answer "fear you will be ridiculed by others for being on online dating websites" was the most popular with 35.3% of respondents choosing this as their answer. The next most popular answer was "fear the other person may be misrepresenting themselves" with 32.4% of respondents choosing it. Close after, with 23.5% was "fear of that first uncomfortable meeting." These three answers were the top chosen, all being over 20%.

Interesting enough, more people were skeptical about online dating for fear of being ridiculed by others. What does this say about online dating? The term itself holds many negative connotations and so it is necessary to examine it. Unlike social media sites such as Twitter, where celebrities and fans take part in the game of self-presentation and are proud to associate themselves with a persona, people who use online dating sites are not as keen on others knowing they participate. This could be for many reasons. For one, the negative stigma that only "losers" use online dating to find someone does exist. (Miller, 2011) Although online dating has become significantly more popular, the social acceptance of meeting a significant other is important. Because online dating is still relatively "new" (in comparison with more traditional ways of meeting someone) it is less popular in most eyes. Online dating is also looked at negatively because of deception. People are skeptical to use an online dating service when they believe that people on the service are lying about themselves or lying about being single. Research shows that many, if not most, people are deceptive in their online dating profiles, even if the deception is very small.

My results show that most people have had both positive and negative experiences with online dating, similar to real world experiences. Respondents also indicated that relationships started from online dating are about the same as those they started in the "real world."

Online Dating Survey: Intro

To get a small glimpse at online dating for young adults in southeastern Michigan, I conducted a survey and sent it out via Facebook to have people respond. I chose to distribute it via Facebook because of the large response I received when I asked questions to my Facebook friends about online dating, while trying to decide on a good topic for this this project.

The results from this survey are not nearly at all representative of young adults ages 21-30 in southeastern Michigan, but the results do support other research conducted for this project, and confirm some of my assumptions.

12 males and 21 females filled out the survey (one person decided not to share their gender.) The most common age for respondents was 24, with nine people marking that as their age. (This makes sense as I am 24, and sent the link to the survey out via Facebook.) Age 25 and 26 were the second most common ages, with 6 people each marking those as their age. With this being said, this very small sample is representative of young adults in their mid-twenties.

The following questions were asked:

• What was your biggest fear or hesitation about starting online dating?
• What kind of encounter have you had with online dating?
• How do you feel about online dating in general?
• How many online dating sites have you interacted with?
• How many of your dating relationships have started online?
• Are the dating relationships you've started online better than the ones you've
  started in "the real world," worse than them, or about the same as them?
• What were you looking for when you started online dating?
• How trustworthy are the people you meet on online dating websites?
• Do you prefer online dating or "traditional" dating?
• If you prefer one over the other, can you explain your preference?
• If possible, please share a personal story of an online dating experience. Was
  it a good or bad experience? If bad, would you consider online dating again?

The survey also asked for age, gender, and zip code for demographical reasons.

The Big Question: Does Online Dating Work?

Looking for love: Does online dating work?

Online dating has become a million dollar industry, with thousands of dating sites in the United States alone. A variety of different sites exist: some charge a fee to join, some are free, and some speak to a niche population. Some sites use algorhythms and science to match people based on similar personality traits and lifestyles, while others allow users to seek out other users on their own instead of providing "matches."

Research during this project has highlighted a few common issues when it comes to online dating. Charles Prince, owner of Tuscon Matchmakers, who was interviewed in the news story linked above, discusses the issue with self-presentation and trust online. Prince says, "People write a profile, and it's not necessarily really who they are. So really when you go choose somebody you're choosing somebody based on who wrote the best profile, and who has the best picture."

This may be the case, but there's also more than what meets the eye when it comes to dating. In both the real world and the digital world, it can be hard to figure out who a person really is. Is online dating really that much different than traditional dating? Trust is an issue no matter what channel you use to meet people.

So, the big question: does online dating work? Of course, there's no promise it will (no matter what the advertisements tell you.) Just like dating in the real world, online dating does not always work. But, just like the real world, it DOES work for some people! At the very least, it's a nice option to have. Later posts in this blog will examine both positive and negative personal stories of online dating. 

Online Dating Statistics

Believe it or not, it's quite difficult to find any "official" or scholarly online dating statistics, especially any that are representative of 2011. There is a multitude of different dating sites, all with statistics of their own. In the future, compiling online dating statistics could be a research project of its own.

I pulled some from eSilverStrike Consulting Inc.'s datingsitesreviews.com and Mark Brooks' onlinepersonalwatch.com. Some I thought were worthy of mention for this project:

• There are 54 million singles in the United States. 5.5 million of those use online dating sites.
• 14,427 - Number of online dating and matchmaking enterprises in the United States in 2011
• 15,621 - Number of enterprises expected to exist in 2016
• One in four adults have used the internet to find a partner and another 38% are considering using online dating. Of those who had used online dating, 33.6% reported a short-term relationship, 16.2% said they had a long-term relationship, 8.9% said they had married or were in a defacto relationship, and 2.7% had children.

Corey T. Miller's dissertation on the Cultural Adaptation of Internet Dating highlights some statistics from a survey done by PEW Research Center in the last quarter of 2005 that used phone interviews with 2,315 adult subjects:

• 11% of all American internet-using adults—about 16 million people—say they have gone to an online dating website or other site where they can meet people online
•  43% of all online daters have gone on dates with people they met through the sites and 17% of them have entered long-term relationships or married their online dating partners 

The few statistics listed above refer to online dating in general, throughout the world. It's important to note that online dating is a popular tool around the entire world, not just in the U.S., or in Southeastern Michigan, which is what the primary research in this project analyzed. Online dating habits do differ between cultures and regions, and different trends do exist depending on the population that is analyzed.

Introduction

Online dating. By now, we've all seen the commercials. We all know at least one person who is in a serious relationship because of it, or who is married because of it. We also all know at least one person who has been burned by it. So, is online dating worth it? Is it really as bad as everyone thinks? Or does the good outweigh the bad?

The purpose of this blog is to examine young adults’ fears and hesitations with online dating, as well the positive and negative connotations associated with the term “online dating,” and in general meeting someone on the internet. Young adults in Southeastern Michigan, ages 21-30 will be the subjects discussed in this blog.

With more and more young people taking advantage of the internet and finding new ways to interact among each other, online dating has become a normal part of everyday life. This blog will be a small snapshot of ideas and experiences associated with online dating, but it will highlight the positive effects and aspects of this popular and efficient way of meeting new romantic partners, and even friends.

The meat of this project will really focus on the primary research that was conducted, highlighting the results of the survey I created and sent out to young adults ages 21-30 in southeastern Michigan.